Photography and Videography

The wedding photographs preserve forever the magnificence and magic of your wedding day. Your wedding video, on the other hand, tends to capture those precious and often spontaneous moments that defy the limitations of still photography.

Take the time to carefully select both the wedding photographer and videographer. Remember, these are the people who are in charge of recording your precious memories. Remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

The Photography

Kisses and MakeupThe bride's makeup needs to be a little brighter and bolder for wedding photos. Makeup tends to photograph less intense than it appears in real life, so she may want to go with a darker red lipstick or a deeper blush. The photographer, a makeup salesperson, or a qualified makeup artist can give her tips on makeup for photography.

Amazingly enough, the couple can plan, delight in, and obsess about their wedding day for 12 months, and then -- poof! -- everything's over before they know it. Even though the guests will appreciate every effort you both took to make this a memorable day, you both may find yourselves barely able to remember the menu, let alone the white roses at the end of the aisle.

For these reasons and a million more, your photographer will eventually (say, on your fifth wedding anniversary) become one of the most important persons to have attended your ceremony and reception.

Choosing a Photographer

Do your homework. Ask recently married couples for recommendations. Take a lot of uninterrupted time to study a photographer's portfolio. Look for technical skill, including clear, well-lit photos. Study the bride's and groom's faces: Was the photographer able to capture that nano-second where the bride's eyes expressed the love in her heart rather than the butterflies in her stomach? Despite being posed, do the traditional shots still have a sense of candid happiness, or do they seem flat and unanimated? Does the photographer use multiple-image, split-frame, or other creative techniques?

There are important questions for you both to ask during initial interviews with photographer candidates, such as the rate per hour, extra potential costs, photographer's attire, and number of assistants to be used. There are also definite ways to make the search for a photographer a little easier. For example, you should:

• Start early. The best photographers are booked months in advance. Since you want plenty of time to interview and review more than one photographer, it's best to begin this task as soon as possible.
  
  
• Ask to see friends' and relatives' wedding albums. Recommendations are great, but actually seeing the photographer's work is better still.
  
  
• Attend bridal fairs. Photographers often have booths at these fairs. You can look at portfolios, collect business cards, and check for available dates. It's also a great way to see several photographers without having to drive all over town.
  
  
• Ask your caterer, florist, and musicians for recommendations. These people are in the wedding business, and they've probably seen it all. Of course, their recommendations will probably be from a different perspective. For example, this photographer did not get in the way as food was served, and that photographer got right in the middle of the dance floor and captured every move. In the end, these are all important viewpoints that the average bride might not know to consider.
  
  
• Interview several choices. You both may think that wedding photographs are all the same, but they really aren't. There are different levels of creativity, talent, and technical skill. After talking to several photographers, you'll begin to understand the differences, and you'll spot the right person.
  
  
• Consider your chemistry with each photographer interviewed. While a photographer's portfolio is his best recommendation, it's also important to consider how you get along with this person. If you both prefer a take-charge, assertive person, look for these qualities during the interview. On the other hand, if you want someone who's laid-back and goes with the flow, watch for this attitude.
  
  
• Consider a photographer's creativity. When reviewing a photographer's portfolio, look for black-and-white treatments, multiple images, and other creative techniques. Don't be shy about making special requests. If a friend's wedding album catches your eye, ask if you can borrow her book and show it to each photographer you interview.
  
  
• Make sure your photographer has wedding-specific experience. Photographers who specialize in animal shots or formal portraits are probably not your best bet. You want someone who understands what a wedding album means.

Getting the Important Shots

If there are people at your wedding who you especially want photographed, make sure the photographer meets these people. Introducing the photographer to your great-grandmother is a nice responsibility for your maid/matron of honor. And be sure to make these special requests clearly known before the wedding day.

Wedding Photography Trends

Private Video MomentsSome creative couples like to capture "private" chats on film, catching a moment in time when special thoughts are extended between family members. These can be scheduled chats between bride and groom, mother and daughter, or son and father. Topics for discussion could include what the two people mean to each other, how much the bride appreciates the other's help, or sage words of advice. If planned conversations are too daunting a task, ask the videographer to call special people into a room one at a time to record special messages. They can be from bride to mother, groom to brother, father to future son-in-law, or from any person who wants to send a message to the bride or groom.

Several trends in wedding day photography can make the entire process much more predictable and less stressful. Ultimately, the ideas below can give you more free time on the wedding day.

• Take the formal shots the day or week before
  your ceremony. Yes, the groom will have to see the bride
  in her gown, but the benefits of a calm, unhurried session often outweigh any superstitions! Also, a pre-wedding-day photography session gives you both a true dress rehearsal.
  
  
• Take more candid shots. There is something captivating about well-taken candid photographs. Some great candid opportunities are when everyone is getting ready, between formal shots when everyone is happy and playful, and as the bride awaits her first step down the aisle.
  
  
• Request creative techniques. Black-and-white or black-and-white hand-tinted photos, double exposures, or special filters all offer unique and captivating results.

Once you both have determined which specific shots are important and when you would like the photographer to take these shots, create a photography schedule to keep him or her on track. And while you're at it, make a contact sheet with the details of your wedding package along with basic information about the photographer. This will make sure you and the photographer are on the same page and eliminate any potential for surprises.

The Videographer

Like the photographer, the videographer is responsible for capturing memories. What sets the video apart from the wedding album is that video tends to be more action- and sound-oriented and thus has the potential for being more spontaneous and candid. There's no better way to remember the informal but nonetheless remarkable moments of your day.

Many times, video is the only way to capture the moment you exchange vows, since the flashes for still photographs are sometimes not permitted or wanted during the ceremony. A quiet video camera, unobtrusively set up stage left, allows you to hold those vows forever at your fingertips.

As you both did when selecting photography, interview several videographer candidates, and use friends' wedding videos to help express what you're looking for. Once you find that perfect videographer, create a videography schedule with all the key moments you would like captured plus a contact sheet detailing everything you need to remember about your videographer.

Details, details. There sure is a lot to remember when planning a wedding, isn't there? Let's keep going by learning more about getting the rehearsal, ceremony, and transportation details set on the next page.

Ways to Extend Your Photo BudgetPhotography can consume up to 10 percent of the wedding budget. While every penny is worth it, there are a few ways the new couple can eke out a little more for their dollar.

• Hire an experienced yet independent photographer rather than a studio. Studios have more overhead than independent photographers. And while self-employed photographers may not be able to get proofs done as quickly as a larger studio, they may offer a better price.
  
  
• Skip the genuine leather, gold-embossed album. Cut back on your album cover costs, and you'll have a bigger budget for what goes inside.
  
  
• Don't overlap photo and video requests. If you are hiring a videographer to cruise the reception, you could forgo photographs of every table.

• Rehearsal, Ceremony, and Transportation

  It's easy to get bogged down in the details of wedding planning -- especially for aspects of the wedding that have so many components, like the rehearsal and the ceremony, and for the more mundane items on your checklist, such as transportation. Remember to keep the overall picture in mind, and always try to add a personal touch to each detail you both plan. Don't forget you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.
  

  The Rehearsal

  The rehearsalis incredibly important, not only for obvious reasons, but also because it reduces the risk of ceremony surprises, tends to relax the wedding party, and gives his side a chance to mingle with her side. It also makes the reception even more fun and personal.

  The worksheet link above provides a cheat sheet of everything you both need to remember about the rehearsal, including what you both should take along (such as the wine and the marriage license) that you will need on your actual wedding day.

  Rehearsal Party
  

  The rehearsal party immediately follows the official rehearsal. While the party is traditionally hosted by the groom's family, more and more groom's parents now choose instead to help with the overall reception costs, which, with the exception of the bar bill, were traditionally covered only by the bride's parents.
  

  The rehearsal party is a chance for the bride and groom to mingle with loved ones and introduce wedding attendants from his family to wedding attendants from her family. It's also traditionally the time for the couple to give gifts to each wedding party attendant.

  Rehearsal parties can run the gamut. They can be quite formal or casual. They can be in a restaurant or a private home. They can include dinner or simply be drinks and appetizers. In other words, anything goes and anything is acceptable.

  All members of the wedding party are included on the rehearsal party guest list, as well as their spouses. All parents, the officiant (and his or her spouse), and the coordinator (if any) are also invited. Some couples also invite other wedding vendors (the musicians, photographer, etc.) and out-of-town guests, but that is entirely optional.

  The Ceremony
  

  This is the time to acknowledge every fantasy and recall every wedding ceremony that has touched the bride's and groom's heart -- whether the ceremony was your best friend's, your Aunt Mabel's, or a scene on the big screen starring Audrey Hepburn. Indulge yourselves and your most romantic dreams. The only real limitations are budget and size. (In other words, you both want to make sure the ceremony site can hold all of your guests.)
  

  The Ceremony Site

  Personal TouchesEven if you both are planning a traditional ceremony, there are still ways to personalize the event: Switch places. Have the officiant stand with his or her back toward the guests while you both face the guests. Consider a small ceremony. The smaller the guest list, the more options you have, such as asking guests to join hands in a circle around the bride and groom. Ask both sets of parents to participate in the processional. Instead of looking at it as the bride's father giving her away, think of it as two families joining together. Let the bride walk down the aisle with the groom. This is often done by older brides, but many young women also choose this option.

  A ceremony does just as much to set the tone of the wedding day as anything else. If the bride and groom belong to the same church, synagogue, or temple and they want a traditional ceremony, choosing the ceremony site is simple. If, however, they want a more unique ceremony or if they do not belong to the same religious organization, then they may need to do a little hunting to find the perfect site.

  There are four general ceremony styles for you both to choose
  from. Each of the four styles has plenty of room for personal expression.
  

• Traditional: A traditional ceremony is performed in a church, synagogue, or temple by a religious leader. (A military ceremony is also considered traditional.)
  
  
• Contemporary: This ceremony is most often in a historical building, museum, garden, or along a shoreline. There generally still are seats, an aisle, and a religious officiant.
  
  
• Unique: These "extreme" ceremonies are held underwater, on mountaintops, in the air, or wherever your fantasy leads you. It takes a lot of courage to select this style, and you can expect more than the average number of regrets. If it's your dream, though, go for it!
  
  
• Private: Reserved women fall in love and get married, too -- they just don't want to be on center stage. For these people, a private ceremony at city hall or a small religious site is perfect. They can then have a large party, with lots of mingling and no spotlights, at another time.

No matter how extravagant or simple the couple's dreams are for the ceremony site, it's important they keep track of all the details, including such things as the maximum number of guests, fee involved, and attire restrictions.

Ceremony Costs

There are several standard fees associated with the wedding ceremony. The following areas are all considered normal add-on fees and should be included in the budget. In the end, all of these additional fees add value to your ceremony.

• Officiant: This is the person who actually performs the ceremony, legally pronouncing you husband and wife. The officiant may be a religious leader at the church, synagogue, or temple where you will hold your ceremony; a religious leader invited to your ceremony site from another church, synagogue, or temple; or a judge or justice. Whoever the person is, there will be a fee (or donation) for the service. Be sure to provide a schedule to the officiant so he or she knows exactly what you have planned for the ceremony.
  
  
• Site fee: There are often additional fees beyond the building in which you hold the ceremony. These are generally for decorative items used to set up the site to your liking or items associated with religious traditions. Some of the add-on fees may include an aisle runner, candelabras and candles (if permitted), the altar or chuppah, knee cushions, canopy, and chairs (if necessary in addition to the pews).
  
  
• Special services: Certain services outside the jurisdiction of your officiant or site manager include cleanup services, parking services, setup services, or tear-down services. These normally have an additional fee.

Wedding Vows

There was a time when the wedding vows were more or less set in stone. Those days, however, are gone. And while that's good news for those who are looking for another way to express their love, it also means one more thing for the bride and groom to worry about. Here are your choices:

• Traditional vows: If you are having a religious ceremony with traditional vows, there is still room for input. Read through the customary vows to make sure you find nothing contradictory with your beliefs, such as things that you think are outdated or sexist. Consider inserting special readings or poems. Sometimes family and friends are invited to read scriptures or poetry.
  
  
• Self-written vows: Many brides and grooms write their own vows. A few suggestions are to acknowledge the guests and the importance of their presence; explain the qualities you most love about your future spouse or tell your hopes for the future.

The Receiving Line

Stress-Busters for the Ceremony It's a fact that the bride and groom will probably be nervous on their wedding day. Here are ways to relieve the stress: Eat before the ceremony. Pay any outstanding balances before the ceremony. Prepare an emergency kit filled with aspirin, a few extra pairs of pantyhose, mints, hair and safety pins, tissues, a sewing kit, tampons, a few energy bars, and so on. Allow extra time for activities. Everything tends to take longer than expected. Whenever possible, delegate.

The receiving line is a special chance for guests to officially meet the bride's and groom's families, as well as an opportunity to personally congratulate the newlyweds. This line is usually formed directly after the ceremony, with guests offering their congratulations as they move on to the reception. It can also be formed so that guests arriving at the reception must first pass through the line. It's perfectly fine to keep conversation brief (yet still somewhat personal).

Transportation

Some might consider limousine service on your wedding day extravagant, but it is a surprisingly affordable luxury -- and an appropriate indulgence when you consider the miles of lace the bride will be wearing. Check out several transportation company candidates before settling on one -- many offer great deals if you both search hard enough.

A limousine can be used both before and/or after the ceremony. For example, the bride and her attendants could take a limo to the church. The couple (and possibly the best man and maid/matron of honor) could also be whisked away to the reception in a limousine. And remember there are several romantic alternatives to a limousine service. For example, the couple may be able to rent an antique car or hire a horse and carriage.

One trend is to find a way to keep the whole wedding party together in transit. This can include anything from renting a trolley (check the Yellow Pages for any local companies) to renting a mini-bus (available through many limousine services). This allows the entire wedding party to have a private post-ceremony celebration together.

Beyond hiring transportation for yourselves and the wedding party, you may want to consider paying for valet parking for your guests. If the ceremony and reception are at a fine hotel, they probably already offer this service -- which you can often secure at a reduced rate. If this service is not part of your ceremony or reception package, consider hiring parking attendants. This is a particularly thoughtful gesture if your ceremony is someplace where street parking is difficult.

You' both have walked down the aisle, exchanged vows, puckered up for the all-important kiss -- and now it's party time! In the next section we will help you both plan your wedding reception.

Say "I Do" With FlairAn unconventional ceremony location -- selected for a personal reason by the bride and groom -- lends a modern and creative touch to the day. If any of the suggestions sound interesting, you both can usually find resources through your city's tourist bureau or chamber of commerce, the Yellow Pages, or local wedding coordinators.

• Private clubs or hotels: If you select a private establishment, you may need to be a member or have a member's sponsorship.
  
  
• Private homes or gardens: Look for dramatic features, such as a grand staircase or an elaborate garden. If the garden is what attracts you, ask the home owner when the flowers are peaking and schedule your wedding accordingly.
  
  
• Cruise ships or boats.
  
  
• Mountains, parks, or beaches: There may even be an on-site city-owned facility that has rooms to rent for weddings. Try calling the local parks and recreation department.
  
  
• Wineries or orchards.
  
  
• Historical or public sites.
  
  
• Art galleries or museums.
  
  
• Resorts or bed-and-breakfast inns: These are especially well suited for weekend weddings.

The Guest List and Wedding Stationery

The guest list affects many of the wedding decisions the engaged couple will make, including the selections for wedding stationery. So, before any of the invitations, stationery, and so on can be purchased, you both have to set the guest list and determine the total number of guests. We'll walk you through the process. And remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

The Guest List

Your guest list generally drives other decisions, so it's often smart to write the list sooner rather than later. Two of the earliest concerns dependent on final guest count are the total budget and the invitation requirements.

The guest count has a trickle-down effect on just about all matters related to the wedding. If your list is extremely long, you both may want to ask only a handful of close friends and family to the ceremony and invite everyone to the reception. The size of the guest list can also affect the mood and tone of the day, as well as the size of your wedding party.

There are three steps to making a guest list:

1. Do first things first: Some couplels like to set a guest count first and then set the budget accordingly. This is appropriate if they know upfront that they'll have a generous budget. Other couples like to set the budget and then determine how many guests can be invited. This is appropriate if they think funds will be tight.
   
   
2. Divide the list by five: Divvy up the guest list between five categories: the bride's list; the groom's list; the couple's list of common friends; the groom's parents' list; and the bride's parents' list. (Sometimes it's easiest to allocate all family guests to the respective parents.)
   
   
3. Whittle: Now begin removing names until you both hit your mark.

When it comes to the guest list, you both are likely to have some sticky situations. Remember, this is your party; within reason, the guest list is the bride's and groom's decision. But if you both find yourself growing weary or confused, here are a few hints:

• If you both haven't seen or spoken to someone in over a year, he or she can probably come off the list.
  
  
• If you both need to make cuts, select an entire group, like all business associates or all book club members. If anyone complains, simply explain that you're planning a small wedding.
  
  
• If you both decide against having children at the ceremony, and the Smiths respond that they are coming with all four kids, handle it tactfully and directly. Call them up and say, "I'm sorry, but we simply can't accommodate children at the wedding."
  
  
• If there is an "ex" in the bride or groom's background (this could mean girlfriends, boyfriends, in-laws, or stepparents), ask yourselves if everyone in the extended bridal party would feel comfortable about this person being invited. If you or anyone else might feel uneasy with this guest present, then he or she should be dropped from the list.

The Stationery

You both will need quite an assortment of printed items for the wedding. Depending on which printeryou choose, the items included in the wedding stationery package will vary. (Be sure to look at all the package options before you make your stationery orderto ensure you get everything you want -- and nothing you don't need.)

The Wedding Invitation Package

You can usually spot a wedding invitation in the mail a mile away -- it has a "LOVE" stamp in the corner and is bursting at the seams. To figure out why the envelope is so jam-packed, read on to find out more about what typically goes in a wedding invitation package.

• The Ceremony Invitation and Envelope: The invitation announces the tone of the wedding and thus can take on any number of styles -- from traditional to unique. The wedding invitation itself traditionally comes from the bride's parents, but it can also come from the bride and groom. The tone or style of the invitation should reflect the tone or style of the ceremony and reception.
  
  There are several different invitation styles, from traditional to contemporary. All are perfectly acceptable. You both will, however, need to set a style before hiring a printer, since different shops have different printing capabilities. There are lots of places to look for style inspiration. You could look at friends' invitations, for example. You should also visit at least two printers and look at their sample books so that you can get an idea of what's available.
  
  
• The Reception Invitation: The reception invitation can have three formats: It can be included on the same invitation as the ceremony information; it can be a separate invitation/card altogether; or if a guest is only invited to the reception, it can be used in place of the ceremony invitation.
  
  A combined invitation for both the reception and the ceremony is a great way to save money without sacrificing elegance. If the reception invitation is separate, however, the only thing to remember is that the card style should match that of the ceremony invitation. In other words, it should follow the traditional or contemporary style of the invitation.
  
  
• The Response Card and Envelope: The response card addresses the reception only. It should have a line for the guest name(s), the number of people attending, and the menu choices (if needed). You both should also include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the guest to return the response card. The card should have a final response date -- generally two to four weeks before the wedding.
  
  
• Maps: It is increasingly common to include a map to the ceremony site and the reception site with the invitation. This could be a computer-generated map or one that you draw yourself. Just make sure that all of your lines and directions are clear before you give it to the printer. Also include a phone number for the destination. That way, the guest can call if he or she gets lost.

Other Printed Items

If you both know in advance the other printed items you would like at your wedding, ask the printer you've selected for your invitations to add in these items at a discount. This will not only save you money but will also ensure that each printed piece matches the style of the others.

• Pew cards: If you plan a large wedding ceremony and want to make sure certain guests have reserved seats, insert a pew card into the invitation. When guests present this card to an usher, they will be seated accordingly. The pew card includes the guest name(s), the ceremony location, and the pew number and its section (the bride's side or the groom's side).
  
  
• Place cards, matchbooks, napkins, etc.: You can include printed items -- such as napkins and matchbooks -- at the reception tables and scattered around the site, such as at the bar or the appetizer table. These printed pieces can include your names only; your names and wedding date; or the names, date, and a symbol, such as wedding bells. They are generally printed in a color that coordinates with your reception colors.
  
  
• Wedding programs: The wedding program names the bride and groom, the officiant, all members of the wedding party, and any readers and soloists. It also lists the ceremony events, including all songs, prayers, and scriptures to be read. Ushers distribute the programs as well as seat the guests. Either your officiant or your church, synagogue, or temple coordinator can supply previous wedding programs for samples. You could also check with friends and your printer to see other examples.
  
  
• Thank-You cards: Since you both will be writing many thank you cards during the coming months, it's nice to have appropriate thank you stationery printed fto use. These cards are small (generally folded and four inches by five inches) and are usually made of rich white or ivory paper. They have "Thank You," the bride's and groom's names, or their initials printed on the front. Be careful about how you print the names or initials, since the bride may need her maiden name on cards used before the ceremony and her married name on cards used after the ceremony.
  
  
• Wedding announcements: A formal wedding announcement is mailed the day after the wedding to family and friends who couldn't be invited to the event. An announcement can also go to local newspapers and magazines. A newspaper or magazine wedding announcement is worded much like the engagement announcement.
  
  
• At-Home cards: This card is sometimes included with the invitation or the wedding announcement. It tells whether the bride will be using her married or maiden last name and where the couple will live.

Show Proof of Proofing

Can you imagine anything more embarrassing than misspelling your future mother-in-law's name on the invitation? To avoid mistakes, enlist proofing help from at least three people -- preferably a mix of people from both sides. In addition, read each line in the invitation proof backward, from right to left. This forces you both to isolate each word. If you both question any name, circle it and phone someone to check the spelling. Use a dictionary to check other questionable words. As for dates, times, and sites, after you've double-checked this information, go back and check it all again. (And a third check wouldn't hurt, either!)

Addressing the Invitations

It may be tough to forgo the ease of computer-generated labels, but the invitations really should be hand-addressed. It is acceptable, however, to have your return address printed on the envelopes. If the invitation includes an inside envelope, repeat only the names of the guests (including any children under 16) on it. Persons 16 and older traditionally receive their own invitations. Single persons may have "and Guest" printed beside their name. Formal titles, such as Doctor or Reverend, should be spelled out.

Postage Prowess

Don't forget to include the postage costs in the invitation budget. And be certain to weigh the entire invitation to ensure correct postage. Ask your printer for a sample of your invitation, including every envelope (with the postage stamps), every enclosure, and every piece of tissue paper. These samples can be blank, since normal printing doesn't add weight. Take this sample to a post office and have it weighed.

Now that the guest list is set and the wedding stationery is ordered, the couple is ready to get into the nitty-gritty details of the ceremony and reception. On the next page, we will get started by learning more about choosing music for the ceremony and the reception as well as finding a florist.

Ways to Extend Your Stationery Budget
Invitations costs can mount up, but there's good news: This is one area where cost-cutting measures really won't dramatically affect the quality or the look of your final presentation. Here are a few ideas:

• Shop around. Print costs can be negotiated somewhat. You may even find a printer who has beautiful paper in stock that comes with a price break.
  
  
• Select standard invitation sizes. Your printer can guide you toward an invitation that requires a reasonable amount of postage, as opposed to oversized invitations or mailing tubes, which carry higher mailing fees.
  
  
• Order extra invitations. In the end, it is always less expensive to absorb the cost of extra invitations than to print 30 invitations at the last minute.
  
  
• Forgo reception cards. It's perfectly acceptable to include the reception information on the ceremony invitation, thus reducing your printing and postage costs.
  
  
• Seek your printer's advice. He or she may suggest less expensive but equally elegant printing alternatives other than engraving. In addition, ask your printer to quote envelopes with and without the traditional lining.

Ceremony Music, Reception Music, and Flowers

The music and flowers play enormous parts in setting the mood for your wedding. Both of these speak to the day's romantic tone and serve to express the couple's style.

The average couple spends approximately 4 percent of their total budget on flowers and 5 percent on music. However, if you both choose to make the music and/or flowers a priority, you'll soon see how quickly your budget will climb.

Probably the most important thing to remember as you make final music and floral selections is that there are choices, including some very creative, very engaging, and possibly less expensive alternatives. We'll review some of them. And remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.

Ceremony Music

If the ceremony will be in a religious building, be sure to ask if there are any music restrictions. Instrumental music generally begins 30 minutes before the ceremony, and a solo is often performed immediately after the bride's mother is seated. The processional begins with an instrumental -- or sometimes a soloist -- and has a slow, even beat that you can walk to. After the final attendant is down the aisle and in place, special music announces the bride.

Reviewing MusiciansWhen interviewing potential ceremony musicians and reception music candidates, ask for a recording of a past performance. That way, you both can audition any talent from the privacy of your own home. It also allows you to create a short list of two or three finalists and listen to their recordings back to back. Another option is to ask musicians for upcoming performance dates. As long as you both promise to stand quietly and respectfully in the hall outside a ceremony, you may be permitted to observe the musician in action. As soon as you both make your decision, get a written contract. Make sure it includes the obvious elements (such as date and prices) as well as the not-so-obvious ones (the musicians' attire, for example).

The bride's music can vary -- anywhere from traditional or contemporary, an instrumental or a soloist. The most popular choices are Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" ("Here Comes the Bride") and Mendelssohn's "Wedding March." You may also want one or two songs played during the ceremony. Finally, there's the recessional, which generally has a slightly quicker tempo.

No matter what you both select for your song list, take the time to find music that means something to you both -- or at least music that you both enjoy. And keep a worksheet on each of your ceremony musicians that lists contact information and other important details.

Reception Music

Unlike ceremony musicians, who need to reflect the moment's solemn, heartfelt ambiance, reception music is all about entertainment. It should inspire dancing, joyful singing, and all-around merriment.

If the ceremony and reception are hosted in the same building, you may be able to hire one set of musicians for both events. More often, however, you'll need separate musicians for the ceremony and the reception.

Below are a few ways to stretch your reception music budget, and surprisingly enough, these ideas can often lead you both to more creative and open-minded musical talent.

• Hire a DJ rather than a band.
  
  
• Hire a small band. It's a bit more expensive than a DJ but less costly than a full band.
  
  
• Check out local universities or colleges for young talent. Remember, these students may be the same musicians to play at your baby sister's wedding years from now! Another bonus: Because they do not have a standard wedding repertoire, these musicians may be more open to learning special requests. (Be certain, though, to find someone reliable and trustworthy. The money you save isn't worth worrying about any last-minute problems.)

Once you select your reception musicians, create a music schedule to help them play key songs at certain times throughout the evening, such as the first dance and the bouquet toss.

The Flowers

You both will most likely be shocked and amazed at the sheer volume of flowers it takes to adorn a wedding. Even more amazing is the cost, especially since you're probably only used to buying small bouquets from a local florist or grocery store. But the right botanical display is a breathtaking addition to a wedding.

When interviewing florist candidates, find out how open they are to working within your budget. The best florist is one that can be creative and provide you with unique yet reasonably priced arrangements. Here are a few tried-and-true ways to extend the flower budget:

• Use in-season flowers. While your florist can generally get almost any flower you want, in-season selections tend to cost less.
  
  
• Use lots of greenery. For bouquets, you could instruct the florist to retain more stem leaves (requesting, of course, that only unblemished foliage can be used). Or, you could entwine a few perfect blossoms within ivy garlands.
  
  
• Limit the number of attendants. Remember, every person participating in your wedding requires either a bouquet, corsage, or boutonniere. Fewer bridal attendants means fewer costly floral arrangements.
  
  
• Consider tabletop alternatives. Alternatives like balloons mixed with only a few flowers, candles surrounded by ivy garlands, and heavenly scented herb arrangements can lower your floral costs. You might also want to consider renting bonsai or small topiary trees.
  
  
• Use the ceremony flowers at your reception as well. One caution: There may be a slight up-charge if you'd like the florist to transport and set up the ceremony flowers at the reception site. However, sometimes this cost is far lower than purchasing flowers for two separate locations. Of course, you also could ask a friend to be in charge of transporting the flowers and setting them up.
  
  
• Share the ceremony flower cost with another couple. Oftentimes, ceremony flowers are designed to decorate specific areas within the church, synagogue, or temple. This may make it impractical to move and reuse the flowers at the reception. In this case, you may want to try splitting the ceremony flower costs with another couple. Ask the contact person at your church, synagogue, or temple if there is another wedding the day before or after yours. If yes, call that couple, and see if they are open to this huge cost-cutting measure.
  
  
• Simplify. Sometimes less really is more -- especially if your wedding style is particularly elegant or sophisticated. For example, if the bride's gown is a simple sheath, select a bouquet of one dramatic, breathtaking flower surrounded by beautiful ribbon.

As with all of the vendors associated with the wedding, keep a contact sheet handy that includes all the key information about your florist. Use this sheet to record notes from each meeting you both have with him or her. Also create a detailed list of your flower order that sums up what needs to go where and get into whose hands or on whose lapel.

Since you've spent all this time picking the right music, musicians, and flowers, you want to make sure you properly document how beautiful it all turns out. In the next section, we will discuss how to select a photographer and videographer.

A Matter of Shades
The words are simple: "Here comes the bride, all dressed in white...." The trick, however, is what shade of white the bride will be wearing. There's bright white, off-white, antique white, ivory, blush, champagne, and so on. Certain "white" flowers can play visual tricks with your gown. For instance, white roses tend to make an ivory dress look dirty.

Also, very dark flowers (magenta, maroon, etc.) may appear unattractively black in photographs, and a monotone bouquet often appears to be one big blob. Ask your photographer about this before finalizing floral selections.