The Bridal Shop has sold Bridal Gowns and other formal women's fashion online for over 10 years. We've been in the Women's Formal Fashion business for over 20 years, both as a manufacturer and as a reseller with a retail location at 108 Mamaroneck Avenue, Mamaroneck, NY, and online with thebridalshop.com.We are "all about" Bridal (In fact we handle over 50 of the top brands manufacturing wedding dresses today). Be sure to check out our index page of Wedding Dresses and Bridal Gowns. You may find JUST the wedding dress or bridal gown that you are after.
Every day we sell all types of bridal fashion, including the very widest selection of Dresses and Gowns for the Mother of the Bride or Groom:
.
and Bridesmaid Dresses & Gowns & Quinceanera:
not to mention some of the most sought after dresses and gowns for that Special Occasion (Prom Dresses, Homecoming Dresses, or just an Evening Gown) to customers all over the world! (important note: Product Availability is subject to Manufacturer terms and conditions. Not all products are available for international purchase. Please contact us at +1 914-381-3808 for further information)
Weddings and bridal fashion are what we are all about. We carry the top manufacturers of Wedding Gowns. Just a sampling includes Maggie Sottero, Forever Yours, Mon Cheri Bridal, Bonny, and P.C. Mary's, Inc., Mary's Bridal©.
For the Bridesmaids in the wedding party, just a sampling includes Bill Levkoff, Mori Lee Bridesmaids and Raylia Designs.
For the Mother of the Bride or Groom, top manufacturers include Montage, Cameron Blake, Rina di Montella and Forever Yours Mother of the Bride. Make sure you review excellent selections of mother of the bride or groom dresses from Macis Designs, Damianou, and Ursula of Switzerland.
If you have an immediate need for a dress or a gown for a mother of the bride or groom, or for a special occasion, take a look styles 7590, 7586, 7585, 7437, 7432, 7371, and 7168 from LaBelle. As of June 15, 2007, as stock permits, each of these styles is available for immediate delivery.
For the Flower Girls in the Wedding Party, choose from Bonny Flower Girls, Forever Yours Flower Girls and Mon Cheri Flower Girls.
Please be sure to review our extensive presentation of Evening Dresses and Gowns from Jovani (many of these dresses are just right for Mother of the Bride or Groom, as well) "Dolce" by Jovani, "Cocktail Suits" by Jovani, "Special Occasions" by Jovani, "Short 'n Chic" by Jovani, and "Evening" by Jovani. While you're there, look over the styles from Terani, some of them are breathtaking and may be just what you're after.
We also offer an excellent selection of Quinceanera Dresses and Gowns. Check out Quinceanera styles from Bonny, Mary's Bridal©, and Mori Lee.
If you are shopping for plus size dresses or gowns, be sure to check out Majestic Timeless Beauty, Faviana, and "Unforgettables" by Bonny Bridal Gowns and Wedding Dresses. Keep in mind that Forever Yours offers extensive collections of bridal gowns and wedding dresses and gowns in plus sizes.
For store hours, please call 914-381-3808 ext 240 or 800-245-5869 ext 240.
Prom&Evening
Special Occasion
Bridesmaid
Mother of the Bride
The dress shown to the right is from the Cameron Blake Collection of Dresses and Gowns for Special Occasions.
We are adding new collections on a weekly basis. Please check back often to find the latest styles to wear on your special days.
We have a store front in Mamaroneck, New York. To visit our store, please contact us to make an appointment. To find out how to get to our store by car, boat, or train, please click here.
We also sell our merchandise through our web site, thebridalshop.com
IMPORTANT NOTICE: We ship Worldwide. Please be aware that each country has their own Customs Fees.
WEDDINGS, WEDDING GOWNS, WEDDING DRESS, WEDDING DRESSES, WEDDING GOWN, BRIDAL GOWN, BRIDAL DRESS, BRIDAL DRESSES, BRIDAL GOWNS AND PLUS SIZE BRIDAL DRESSES, INFORMAL WEDDING GOWNS AND INFORMAL WEDDING DRESS, HEADPIECE, HEADPIECES, CROWN, CROWNS, VEIL, VEILS, TIARA, TIARAS, ARE ALL ON SALE NOW!!!
Friday 18 July 2008
The Bridal Shop
Accessories of wedding
Remember: It's Your Day! We are here to help you with the Accessories details and planning.
| ||||||
| ||||||
| ||||||
| ||||||
| ||||||
| ||||||
 | |
 | Weddings Are Fun carries Personalized Wedding Favors, Wedding Invitations at 30% OFF, Bridal Accessories, Beach Items, Just Married Bikinis, Barefoot Sandals, Custom Made Flip Flops, Wedding Candles, Personalized Gifts for Attendants and more! We also carry Personalized Favors and Gifts for New Baby, Quinceanera, Sweet 16, Anniversary and Girl's Night Out! |
Phone: 888-589-3334  National | |
How to Plan Your Wedding
Planning your wedding is not an easy task and it can be quite stressful. The key is to stay organized. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Steps
- Set a budget. Very important -- you should plan how much you want to spend on each detail of your wedding, and make sure you don't exceed that amount. In some cases but not all, parents of the bride or groom will offer to pay for specific things.
- Choose a theme. It doesn't have to be anything really specific, but you want there to be a consistent feeling throughout. Make sure the theme is easy to plan and decorate. Everything should be consistent with the theme.
- Decide on the size of your wedding. Remember to talk this over with your fiance. A dream wedding for one may not be for the other.
- Choose your venue. Even church venues can charge fees.
- Choose your officiant (a pastor, for example). If they don't charge a fee outright to perform the ceremony, be courteous to pay a generous gratuity for their time.
- Attend pre-marriage counseling. This may take a large time commitment, but is worth it in the long-run. Be honest about your desires and expectations for marriage.
- Set the date. The factors in choosing a date include the availability of your venue, friends and family.
- Send out invitations. Be creative; you can make your own and add a personal touch. Send them as early as feasible, for yours to make schedule arrangements.
- Get the gown. Start looking early, months before the wedding. This way you will have plenty of time to make a selection and take care of fitting.
- Get some wedding rings. This is a fun task to do together.
- Find a photographer/videographer. Consider a professional for this special occasion.
- Decide what type of food and refreshments you will offer at the reception dinner. Try to find a happy medium between what would please your guests and what you can afford. Weigh the pros and cons of hiring a professional caterer, as it's not cheap, but it's one less thing you'll have to handle personally.
- Pick a cake. Before settling on a cake it's best to have a tasting first.
Tips
- Stay organized; get a looseleaf binder and insert tab pages for each detail of your wedding. Keep notes and worksheets for each detail and you will be well on your way to making your wedding unforgettable and reducing your stress.
- On the wedding day, be prepared for things not to go exactly as planned. This is a fun day! Regard the mishaps as part of the fun!
- If your pet is important in your life, it is becoming increasingly common to include your special pet in your wedding, and be sure to dress them up in a dog tuxedo or dress!
- Consider reading about married and home life at least twice as much as you read about wedding planning even as you prepare towards the wedding day. It will keep a better set of priorities in perspective. A wedding lasts a day, but a marriage lasts a lifetime.
Warnings
- If you try to plan your wedding by yourself, you may feel overwhelmed. Assign tasks to others in your party and family.
- Pay attention to wedding etiquette. Consult books by true experts like Miss Manners, rather than wedding magazines or popular (but etiquette-unreliable) websites like theknot.com. Contrary to popular belief, following proper modern etiquette will often lead to you spending LESS money on your wedding, NOT more!
How to Plan a Wedding in 6 Months
Steps
- Prepare yourself mentally. Get into the right frame of mind. Be prepared to compromise. Enter into the planning of your wedding with an open mind and flexibility. You may have it all planned out in your mind but not keeping your ideas flexible will leave you frustrated and disappointed. Be ready to alter your ideas of what your dream wedding is. Not only will you need to be flexible with your planning but you need to be willing to make compromises financially. Don't try to over plan or be too controlling. Take everything with a grain of salt and a sense of humor.
Be flexible and enjoy the planning process. You're supposed to enjoy your wedding and not be tortured by it. - Decide on a budget and stick to it. This is the first step in planning any wedding but even more important when planning on a short time line. Because of the short time frame the money you spend won't be spread out over a year or two. You need to look at what funds you have to spend and be able to live and pay your bills. You may need to scale down the vision of your wedding. It's very easy to rely on credit but you need to seriously consider if entering into a marriage with enormous bills is a healthy start just to have an over the top wedding. No one wants to start a marriage in bankruptcy court. The number one reason for young marriages failing is financial stress. Keep your eye on the ball.
- Buy a wedding planner book or make your own. Make sure it has a calendar and pockets to store brochures and clippings. This helps you organize your ideas and helps you store contact information all in one place. Write down vendors you have talked to along with contact information and appointment dates and times. You can also add swatches of fabric and photos of flowers to show to your florist.
- Start planning as soon as you decide on a date! If you take care of everything in the beginning, you have more time to enjoy your engagement and more time to focus on the small, minor details (e.g. the font color of your invitations).
- Make a time line with a to-do list. The time line will differ depending on where you live and the bridal market. The time line could change drastically if you were planning your wedding for January or June. Most of the following steps need to be completed in the first month to month and a half to get the vendors (florist, photographers, dresses, etc.) booked or picked in time if you're in an average sized city. When planning something fast the bulk of the decisions are made in month one. You just spend the other months fine tuning and hoping the wheels don't come off the wagon.
- Consider a destination wedding. These are usually the easiest to do on short notice. All you need to do is show up, get married and have a great time. This may end up costing you less money in the long run. Weigh your options. Most resorts have everything in place and can schedule multiple events with no problem on short notice.
Destination weddings are mostly preplanned by resorts.- The travel will help filter your guest list and you may find only your best friends and closest family will attend.
- This often combines the wedding, reception and honeymoon all into one for more savings.
- Flowers and a cake are often included in the cost.
- Some hotels in Las Vegas (US) are able to do lovely and tasteful weddings. Don't assume every officiant in Las Vegas is an Elvis impersonator.
- Give everyone a heads up if traveling outside the country. It takes time to get passports. Don't wait for the invitation to go out. Remind everyone that it takes longer to get their passports and they shouldn't delay. Don't assume everyone knows that passports aren't quick to turn around.
- Consider a casual theme wedding. Have a great party instead of a formal affair. Be creative and try to plan something fun. Remember at the end of the day you're still married, so try not to be as stuffy with your wedding when you're short on time. Think out of the box and you'll save your sanity and have a more memorable wedding than your friends who planned twice as long and spent ten times as much.
- Get married at the zoo and ride on an elephant. Have caged animals around the reception hall with their caretakers to answer questions. Have the bride wear a white cotton casual dress and the groom in khaki. You can also do a lovely suit and a white dress with an exotic flower in your hair.
- Get married on Halloween weekend and have everyone come in costume. Rent some great Victorian costumes (well in advance), Romeo and Juliet or any other couple. Decorate with cauldrons and dry ice. No one will forget it!
- Get married on the beach in the morning and have a reception at a local restaurant for a great brunch in a private room.
- Go to the mountains and get married on the slopes. Instead of the dresses and tuxedos you use white snow gear and dark snow gear. Pin lovely flowers to you ski jacket. The party can be inside the lodge.
- Find a sail boat and ask about having a modest party aboard for the ceremony, they can sail everyone back to dock for a great clambake or try a nearby restaurant.
- Decide on a date and an alternate date. Call your ceremony location options to find out what is available and how the cost fits into your overall plan. If you wait, you risk the date being unavailable. If you find a place you like that is available and in your price range you should book it and not wait.
- If the site is out of your price range or booked, you can inquire about having it on an alternate day. Friday and Sunday weddings have become more and more common especially in large cities where there is incredible demand and cost associated with Saturdays. They may offer Fridays or Sundays at a reduced rate.
- Also ask of the possibility of having a morning wedding if there is another event later in the day.
- Be realistic, A Valentine's Day wedding will be extremely hard to book on short notice unless you can be really creative. The prices also sky rocket on that day with supply and demand.
- Ask what the refund or cancellation policy is for booking on short notice. They may have contracts that state you must cancel at least 6 months before to get a deposit back. Since you are already within this window you should be very careful what you book and offer deposits. Also ask if the contracts can be changed since you are booking late. They may give you an extra month in the cancellation/reschedule window of time.
- Research reception areas to see what is available in your budget. Consider the usual reception halls but also look into historic buildings, museums, vineyards, art galleries, botanical gardens, historic hotels with parlors. Zoos can also be a unique place for a reception that may be more affordable, available on a short time line and really make a fast turn around wedding memorable.
- Determine if a reception location is available where you are having the ceremony. This will make things much easier to plan and more affordable. You won't have to arrange transportation for the wedding party and this will be one less thing to book and put a deposit on.
- If you are having trouble finding an available reception location, call your local caterer and ask them for a list of local reception sites. They are usually more than willing to help, especially if you are a potential customer.
- Consider having a wedding around a major holiday where churches and reception halls may already be decorated.
- You can easily have a wedding with 30 people attending in a parlor of an old home, historic site or building, lovely private garden or exterior site with a view. With so few people attending you can easily move the event to a great spot out of town so don't feel like you must plan within the city limits. Consider the beach, neighboring town, parks, outdoor site with a great view or lovely historic site in your state.
- Contact an officiant to conduct the ceremony. Certain religions or churches require couples to attend pre-wedding counseling. If you want a religious officiant, your officiant will likely want to meet with you and your partner before the wedding to discuss the vows, how they usually conduct ceremonies and other details. Don't wait until the last minute. Ministers book well in advance but they can usually do several ceremonies in one day. You may need to be flexible with your time if you must have your preferred officiant. If they aren't available you can ask if an associate pastor is available or if they can recommend someone else.
- Go find your dress! Wedding dress shopping can be fun but most places take up to 4-6 months to have your dress shipped to you. This is the last thing you want to worry about. Remember, there are alterations that may need to happen as well. Instead of going to a shop that special orders go to the bridal stores that carry multiple dresses in stock. Try to find a dress off the rack that doesn't need to be ordered. You don't have time for constant fittings. Remember that when trying things on. Sometimes that awesome dress seems a lot less awesome when you are dress-less on your wedding day or bald from pulling your hair out.
Shop for your dress with an open mind and one good friend.- Dresses that lace up the back are easier to fit and will require fewer trips to the seamstress.
- You may need to drive to a larger city to find a store with multiple sizes in multiple dresses. Take friends or family who are easy to shop with and won't make the process more difficult. Take your bra and a pair of heels to check the length. Take a pair of Spanx (stretch under garment to reduce your dress size). If you find a dress that is too tight, try it again with the under-support. Take a camera and get a picture of you in the dress if it is allowed.
- Keep the venue in mind. A Princess Diana cathedral train won't work in every venue. The smaller the venue, the smaller the train. If you don't know the venue yet, go with a shorter train and modest dress.
- Don't be afraid of consignment shops. If the dress isn't perfect you can always have them remove some of the bulk fairly easily but don't go for the complete reconstruction unless you're comfortable with your seamstress.
- Cherish your heritage and ask your mother, grandmother, aunts, etc. if anyone has their dress. Vintage gowns make the event much more special. Chances are good they'd be honored to have you wear their dress and won't mind you having it altered. Just ask.
- Decide who you want to be a part of your wedding and then ask them.
- Consider nixing the traditional bridal party. Ask one close family member to stand with the bride and one with the groom. The maid of honor can wear one of her dresses or cocktail dresses and the best man can wear a suit. Even if you have four sisters, just explain and let them know you can only have one. Ask you mother to stand with you. You really don't need all the maids, junior brides maids, flower girls, ring bearers, etc. Keep it super simple.
- Remember, the more people you ask, the more money and time it will cost in the long run.
- Don't assume every one of your friends must be in the ceremony. Chances are they'll be secretly thankful since being in a wedding takes much time and money for everyone. If they love you they'll still help out and probably be more motivated.
- There is a time crunch involved so be considerate of people who may be traveling long distances to be involved.
- Surround yourself with people who are positive and helpful. You don't have time for drama queens or emotional vampires.
- Pick out the bridesmaids' dresses. Like wedding dresses, these can take several months to come in if you order them and may require your bridesmaids have them altered. Bridesmaids may not be as "attentive" to your time line so try to pick out dresses that are figure forgiving or have laces instead of zippers. They'll save alteration expenses and the minor details won't be a major problem if they don't use a good tailor/seamstress.
- Check out the major department stores and bridal shops for the chance to buy off the hanger. Take your bridesmaids with you so they can try on.
- Don't be afraid of different style dresses. So long as the color is the same you can use different styles. This could be a great way of finding dresses that fit a variety of body shapes without requiring major alterations.
- Consider going to a department store formal gown department (and not in their bridal department) for your bridesmaids dresses rather than a bridal shop. They will get the dresses faster and can possibly save money as well. Layaway and alterations are sometimes included.
- Meet with a few different photographers. Most photographers are busy and have limited schedules. But if you start early, your date is more likely to be available. Consider asking a friend whom you know takes great pictures. You may have to sacrifice the posed photos since those take practice to set up.
- Remember that an experienced professional wedding photographer would produce quality images, whatever the weather or regardless of any unforeseen circumstances.
- Ask around at your local camera store if they know of any budding photographers or anyone starting off in bridal work. They may know of someone who is not in the telephone directory who does great work.
- Ask to see all their pictures from a complete wedding, not just the 'best of' from several weddings
- The perception is that digital costs less so the overhead will be minimal. Photographers will tell you the capital investment in professional equipment is far higher, and the time spent editing the photographs is far more intensive than the days of film. Weigh the cost with the quality, ask questions and use someone you can communicate with easily.
- You might want to save money by making an arrangement with the photographer and getting a CD of your pictures, and then having the actual photos printed yourself at a local photo shop.
- Remember that the photographer may own the copyright, so ensure that any reproduction of images is permitted in writing by the photographer.
- Add disposable cameras to reception tables. Leave a note telling guests to take photos and leave the cameras. Remind them the cameras are not toys for their kids.
- Register for wedding gifts at a store offering the service. Most national department stores and discount stores have a bridal gift registry available. The national chains also make it easier for people out of town.
- If you're having a small and simple wedding you should keep your gift list requests modest and focus on the essentials (towels, casual china, cookware, serving items, etc.).
- If you have a larger budget and can go all out for the wedding and reception despite the short time frame you can go for more lavish gift requests like expensive fine china, crystal and silver.
- Etiquette suggest that everyone invited to showers should also be invited to the wedding and/or reception. The exception is a destination wedding with reception or showers/luncheons thrown by co-workers.
- Guys can have showers too. If the couple needs many items to start off, have a male relative or friend throw a yard or tool party for the groom. Make sure he registers for the items.
- Register at one or two stores. Try to think of stores convenient to friends and family.
- Remember to buy thank you notes and stamps. Send them out as quickly as possible after you receive a gift or if someone helps you with your wedding in some way. You don't have much time and if you get sidetracked you may not get the card out in the appropriate time frame.
- Work with your partner to make a guest list. Determine how many people you can entertain with the budget and space you have available. Start getting their addresses together.
- Meet with florist. If you find one that is reputable and available you should book them. Hopefully, you've looked through bridal books and floral design sites to get ideas on how you'd like your flowers to look. Ideally, you printed pictures and stored them in your bridal book.
- Not all flowers are available year round. You may discover you are paying almost double for a flower that is out of season and difficult to come by but could be replaced with a similar flower with more availability.
- Ask your florist what ideas they may have to make the cost more affordable.
- Consider simple designs of one flower or a few simple flowers tied with a lovely ribbon. It keeps cost down! Don't forget that flowers are usually dead by the next day.
- Can't find a florist? Don't panic! You'll just need to rethink and compromise.
- Call all of the florists back and ask about renting the potted plants, having them do the corsages and boutonnieres for you to pick up everything the day before. Have them use hardy flowers!
- Have them prepare simple but hardy flowers wrapped in ribbon for the bouquets (again, picked up by you the day before and stored in water).
- The florist still does a lot of the work but you'll need to pick it up the day before, put everything out and maybe even take the rental plants back to the florist.
- They may see this as a way to add on additional business without actually having to visit a wedding site to decorate.
- Go to a local printer and look through invitation books. Try to pick ones that won't require a lot of assembly once they come in. Those invitations with the ribbons are cute but do you really have time to put them together, stuff the envelopes, address the envelopes and mail?
- Most bridal stores have invitation books for ordering. Ask ahead what the turn around time is.
- You may be better off getting a simple invitation from a local printer. With the technology available, most local printers can do just as good of a job. They may also feel more compelled to do better work because you're local and reputation is everything.
- Contact local caterers and discuss food options for your reception. Discuss various menus and costs. Also discuss whether you will offer alcohol and how it will be served.
- Are you going to offer a full sit down meal? It may be less expensive to offer heavy hor d'ourves or a buffet. That may free up more money for alcohol.
- Consider only offering beer, wine and champagne to save additional cost.
- Don't offer alcohol. Save even more by offering coffee, tea or punch following an early afternoon wedding.
- So long as the reception isn't during a meal time you can avoid providing lots of food. Plan your wedding after lunch but before dinner to cut catering cost. Guests will have eaten.
- Offer a coffee and cake reception with finger sandwiches, cheese platters and punch and other finger foods. Use a deli to prepare the sandwiches and have a volunteer set out the food. Skip a caterer all together.
- Establish what happens to the left over food and beverage. It's yours if you pay for it. Save the leftovers and freeze them, pack a picnic basket for your honeymoon trip. Bring storage containers and ask someone to pack it up once the reception is over.
- Determine when you must give them a final head count or last date to change the menu. If your budget gets out of control it's nice to be able to shave back on the catering.
- Determine if you need to get a one day license to serve alcohol or if it is provided by the reception venue or caterer.
- Think about splitting up the dates. Compromise. Have a small wedding with immediate family and friends. Plan a big party/reception with all your friends and a big spread a few months after the wedding or on your first anniversary. You'll have time to really plan. This is a common practice following intimate weddings. The benefits include:
- You can plan it on a Friday night and aren't restricted to having a later afternoon or evening wedding.
- You won't be stressed and can enjoy it
- You won't have to leave mid-party for your honeymoon
- You have an excuse to wear your wedding dress or buy a great white cocktail dress.
- You get to celebrate twice.
- You can have a destination wedding or elope and still have a reception or party afterwards for all your friends to attend.
- Contact local bakeries or wedding cake specialist to pick out and order your cake. Tell them how many people will be attending. Let them know if your wedding will be inside or out so they can advise you of what ingredients will stand up under the weather. No one wants to see a melted cake.
More and more couples are opting for dessert tables or even themed cupcake "cakes". They're less expensive and more memorable. - Find a band or DJ. If you are booking a band or a DJ you should start checking around and see who is good for the venue. On a short time schedule, a DJ may be more affordable and more flexible. Ask around and see who is recommended. As always, if the best is booked ask who they recommend. Meet and discuss the play list.
- If you're planning something small, don't worry about entertaining everyone with a dance reception.
- Call the local music college for deals on a small string section for the wedding.
- For super small weddings you can forgo the music all together. If it is that intimate, everyone will know everyone and be talking anyway.
- Start making plans for your honeymoon. It may take several months to get a passport.
- Get a marriage license. Find out what is required by your state to apply for a marriage license. Do you or your partner need a copy of your birth certificates? Do you have an approved copy? Find out specifically what they require so you can order an appropriate copy or a signed original if needed. Do you need a copy of a divorce decree? You may have to contact the county where your divorce was finalized to acquire one.
- Follow up. Continue to follow up and check the status of things with your party, vendors, etc. With a tight time line you can't let anyone lose focus.
- Schedule a time for the groomsmen to be measured for tuxedos or suits. Tuxedo measurements require multiple measurements and they are required to get the best fit. If they live out of town they can be measured by their nearest tuxedo rental shop and the measurements can be sent to your local tuxedo shop.
- Never let a groomsmen guess his measurements or allow someone other than a tuxedo shop to take his measurements.
- Have your groomsmen pick up their tuxedos several days before the wedding. Thursday morning is usually the earliest for a Saturday wedding. They should try the tuxedos, shoes, etc. on immediately. If there was a problem with size or a measurement, the store can still use a day or two to sort it out and possibly have another size shipped in.
- Schedule make up and hair for yourself, the mothers and the bridesmaids for the day of the wedding. It is fine for them to be responsible for the cost themselves. Don't feel obligated to pay for it but don't give them specific style demands unless you are footing the bill.
- Make a list of things you will need the day of the wedding. Keep this list in your planner. Add to it as you think of things. Discuss this with your bridesmaids or maid of honor. See if they can help you remember or take control of your bags.
- Stock a wedding preparedness bag. Here are some things you may need that are commonly needed and sometimes forgotten:
- Duct tape. Seriously, this is the best at fixing hems, tears, holding bras in place, you name it. Super models use it and wedding planners swear by it.
- Lighted make up mirror
- Oscillating fan (Wedding dresses aren't comfortable to hang out in, she'll get quite warm while waiting.)
- Advil, Tylenol, Pepto-Bismol
- Extra makeup, powder, lipstick
- Slippers or comfortable shoes for before the wedding or after if your feet get too sore
- Baby powder--used to cover spots on the dress
- Hair supplies: bobby pins, super hold hairspray, curling iron
- Body supplies: deodorant, perfume, bra, foundation garments, etc.
- Sewing kit with spools of thread in the color of the bride's dress, the brides maid's dresses and the tuxedos.
- Congratulations! You should be well on your way to a great and memorable wedding that will be a pleasure for you, your future spouse and your guests. Keep in mind that small, sweet and intimate is always better than big, impersonal and lavish.
Tips
- Keep your sense of humor and be flexible. Things will go wrong and you should expect to have at least one major disappointment, if not more.
- If you are going to work with a wedding planner you should try to find a reputable one that is available. They may have a wedding the same day as yours but be available to help plan. Ask. If they are booked as if they can recommend a few others to call.
- Before the big day, delegate important things to people you trust. For example, have someone make sure that the bride and groom don't see each other, have someone get to the reception early to light candles, etc. Once you delegate, let them take care of it! Don't be bossy and try to run everything. Just relax and enjoy marrying the person of your dreams!!
- Be realistic. You may have to have a smaller, simple wedding and not a lavish affair. Sometimes the nicest weddings are the simple ones done with taste and not the lavish ones that become tacky because they're done too fast or with the wrong people.
- When your wedding planning starts making you crazy, repeat to yourself, "It's not about me, it's about the marriage." Don't get so wrapped up in the wedding you take your eye off the ball.
- Think about the bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts early. You don't want to wait until the last minute since these can be pricey. Avoid getting things personalized in the event someone backs out.
- If you're picking up your flowers and plants from the florist the day before you should ask your florist specific questions about storing the flowers. Keeping them cool may be recommended. Ask if you should store them in a refrigerator or in a cooled room.
- Some dresses may take considerably less time to come in. It depends on the manufacturer. Try to allow yourself double the delivery time they say. (If they say 2 months, think 4, and you should still have a safety window for alterations.) This will allow time to send it back if they make an error. Be wary of any sales associate that seems to over promise. If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
- Destination weddings don't have to be on exotic islands or distant locations. You can have a destination wedding at a resort nearby. Every state has one or look at a neighboring state. Consider a location where most can travel by car (not too far, a few hours at max) instead of fly and can stay a night or two in a comfortable hotel without breaking the bank.
- Be considerate of close family with children when planning a destination wedding. Some all-inclusive resorts prohibit children and like most airlines, they may charge adult prices for kids. The cost can become prohibitive for a family with kids.
Warnings
- Don't wait until the last minute to take care of things. It adds stress to everyone involved.
- If you include people in your bridal party who aren't supportive of you, it could cause for some major stress in the next few months. Be careful who you decide to be a part of it.
- Be very clear what the cancellation or reschedule policy is for each vendor you hire. Since you are booking late, you may not be eligible for a refund should you need to adjust your times or dates.
- Get everything in writing from the vendors you hire. Confirm with them every few weeks. Don't just assume you are "on the books".
- Carefully read the fine print in all contracts. They may not offer a refund or cancellation policy within the 6 month window. Once you're booked, you're locked in. Ask if they will give you an extra 30 days since you are booking. (Can't hurt to ask and could save you if you find another deal.)
- Beware of hidden fees. When using a church they will usually charge you for the officiant but also for the organist, use of the facilities and the staffers which must arrive and make sure the heat or AC is properly on. Those fees can add up to close to $1000 in smaller towns. Even if you are a member you will still find there are hidden fees and payments to be made to those working at the church.
- Double check your paperwork while you are still with a vendor or sales associate. Make sure they have deducted the correct amount of any deposit and leave the appropriate balance to be paid.
- Make sure vendors document and sign any promises made that are not shown on the contract. (If the order is wrong or the color isn't as promised, they pay shipping for rush replacement, etc.) Any guarantees they make verbally should also be written down and included on the contract.
- Keep copies of all contracts, receipts, cancelled checks, order forms, deposit forms, etc.
Photography and Videography
The wedding photographs preserve forever the magnificence and magic of your wedding day. Your wedding video, on the other hand, tends to capture those precious and often spontaneous moments that defy the limitations of still photography.
Take the time to carefully select both the wedding photographer and videographer. Remember, these are the people who are in charge of recording your precious memories. Remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.
The Photography
Amazingly enough, the couple can plan, delight in, and obsess about their wedding day for 12 months, and then -- poof! -- everything's over before they know it. Even though the guests will appreciate every effort you both took to make this a memorable day, you both may find yourselves barely able to remember the menu, let alone the white roses at the end of the aisle.
For these reasons and a million more, your photographer will eventually (say, on your fifth wedding anniversary) become one of the most important persons to have attended your ceremony and reception.
Choosing a Photographer
Do your homework. Ask recently married couples for recommendations. Take a lot of uninterrupted time to study a photographer's portfolio. Look for technical skill, including clear, well-lit photos. Study the bride's and groom's faces: Was the photographer able to capture that nano-second where the bride's eyes expressed the love in her heart rather than the butterflies in her stomach? Despite being posed, do the traditional shots still have a sense of candid happiness, or do they seem flat and unanimated? Does the photographer use multiple-image, split-frame, or other creative techniques?
There are important questions for you both to ask during initial interviews with photographer candidates, such as the rate per hour, extra potential costs, photographer's attire, and number of assistants to be used. There are also definite ways to make the search for a photographer a little easier. For example, you should:
- Start early. The best photographers are booked months in advance. Since you want plenty of time to interview and review more than one photographer, it's best to begin this task as soon as possible.
- Ask to see friends' and relatives' wedding albums. Recommendations are great, but actually seeing the photographer's work is better still.
- Attend bridal fairs. Photographers often have booths at these fairs. You can look at portfolios, collect business cards, and check for available dates. It's also a great way to see several photographers without having to drive all over town.
- Ask your caterer, florist, and musicians for recommendations. These people are in the wedding business, and they've probably seen it all. Of course, their recommendations will probably be from a different perspective. For example, this photographer did not get in the way as food was served, and that photographer got right in the middle of the dance floor and captured every move. In the end, these are all important viewpoints that the average bride might not know to consider.
- Interview several choices. You both may think that wedding photographs are all the same, but they really aren't. There are different levels of creativity, talent, and technical skill. After talking to several photographers, you'll begin to understand the differences, and you'll spot the right person.
- Consider your chemistry with each photographer interviewed. While a photographer's portfolio is his best recommendation, it's also important to consider how you get along with this person. If you both prefer a take-charge, assertive person, look for these qualities during the interview. On the other hand, if you want someone who's laid-back and goes with the flow, watch for this attitude.
- Consider a photographer's creativity. When reviewing a photographer's portfolio, look for black-and-white treatments, multiple images, and other creative techniques. Don't be shy about making special requests. If a friend's wedding album catches your eye, ask if you can borrow her book and show it to each photographer you interview.
- Make sure your photographer has wedding-specific experience. Photographers who specialize in animal shots or formal portraits are probably not your best bet. You want someone who understands what a wedding album means.
Getting the Important Shots
If there are people at your wedding who you especially want photographed, make sure the photographer meets these people. Introducing the photographer to your great-grandmother is a nice responsibility for your maid/matron of honor. And be sure to make these special requests clearly known before the wedding day.
Wedding Photography Trends
If planned conversations are too daunting a task, ask the videographer to call special people into a room one at a time to record special messages. They can be from bride to mother, groom to brother, father to future son-in-law, or from any person who wants to send a message to the bride or groom. |
Several trends in wedding day photography can make the entire process much more predictable and less stressful. Ultimately, the ideas below can give you more free time on the wedding day.
- Take the formal shots the day or week before
your ceremony. Yes, the groom will have to see the bride
in her gown, but the benefits of a calm, unhurried session often outweigh any superstitions! Also, a pre-wedding-day photography session gives you both a true dress rehearsal. - Take more candid shots. There is something captivating about well-taken candid photographs. Some great candid opportunities are when everyone is getting ready, between formal shots when everyone is happy and playful, and as the bride awaits her first step down the aisle.
- Request creative techniques. Black-and-white or black-and-white hand-tinted photos, double exposures, or special filters all offer unique and captivating results.
Once you both have determined which specific shots are important and when you would like the photographer to take these shots, create a photography schedule to keep him or her on track. And while you're at it, make a contact sheet with the details of your wedding package along with basic information about the photographer. This will make sure you and the photographer are on the same page and eliminate any potential for surprises.
The Videographer
Like the photographer, the videographer is responsible for capturing memories. What sets the video apart from the wedding album is that video tends to be more action- and sound-oriented and thus has the potential for being more spontaneous and candid. There's no better way to remember the informal but nonetheless remarkable moments of your day.
Many times, video is the only way to capture the moment you exchange vows, since the flashes for still photographs are sometimes not permitted or wanted during the ceremony. A quiet video camera, unobtrusively set up stage left, allows you to hold those vows forever at your fingertips.
As you both did when selecting photography, interview several videographer candidates, and use friends' wedding videos to help express what you're looking for. Once you find that perfect videographer, create a videography schedule with all the key moments you would like captured plus a contact sheet detailing everything you need to remember about your videographer.
Details, details. There sure is a lot to remember when planning a wedding, isn't there? Let's keep going by learning more about getting the rehearsal, ceremony, and transportation details set on the next page.
- Hire an experienced yet independent photographer rather than a studio. Studios have more overhead than independent photographers. And while self-employed photographers may not be able to get proofs done as quickly as a larger studio, they may offer a better price.
- Skip the genuine leather, gold-embossed album. Cut back on your album cover costs, and you'll have a bigger budget for what goes inside.
- Don't overlap photo and video requests. If you are hiring a videographer to cruise the reception, you could forgo photographs of every table.
Rehearsal, Ceremony, and Transportation
It's easy to get bogged down in the details of wedding planning -- especially for aspects of the wedding that have so many components, like the rehearsal and the ceremony, and for the more mundane items on your checklist, such as transportation. Remember to keep the overall picture in mind, and always try to add a personal touch to each detail you both plan. Don't forget you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.
The Rehearsal
The rehearsalis incredibly important, not only for obvious reasons, but also because it reduces the risk of ceremony surprises, tends to relax the wedding party, and gives his side a chance to mingle with her side. It also makes the reception even more fun and personal.
The worksheet link above provides a cheat sheet of everything you both need to remember about the rehearsal, including what you both should take along (such as the wine and the marriage license) that you will need on your actual wedding day.
Rehearsal Party
The rehearsal party immediately follows the official rehearsal. While the party is traditionally hosted by the groom's family, more and more groom's parents now choose instead to help with the overall reception costs, which, with the exception of the bar bill, were traditionally covered only by the bride's parents.
The rehearsal party is a chance for the bride and groom to mingle with loved ones and introduce wedding attendants from his family to wedding attendants from her family. It's also traditionally the time for the couple to give gifts to each wedding party attendant.
Rehearsal parties can run the gamut. They can be quite formal or casual. They can be in a restaurant or a private home. They can include dinner or simply be drinks and appetizers. In other words, anything goes and anything is acceptable.
All members of the wedding party are included on the rehearsal party guest list, as well as their spouses. All parents, the officiant (and his or her spouse), and the coordinator (if any) are also invited. Some couples also invite other wedding vendors (the musicians, photographer, etc.) and out-of-town guests, but that is entirely optional.
The Ceremony
This is the time to acknowledge every fantasy and recall every wedding ceremony that has touched the bride's and groom's heart -- whether the ceremony was your best friend's, your Aunt Mabel's, or a scene on the big screen starring Audrey Hepburn. Indulge yourselves and your most romantic dreams. The only real limitations are budget and size. (In other words, you both want to make sure the ceremony site can hold all of your guests.)
The Ceremony Site
Personal Touches Even if you both are planning a traditional ceremony, there are still ways to personalize the event:- Switch places. Have the officiant stand with his or her back toward the guests while you both face the guests.
- Consider a small ceremony. The smaller the guest list, the more options you have, such as asking guests to join hands in a circle around the bride and groom.
- Ask both sets of parents to participate in the processional. Instead of looking at it as the bride's father giving her away, think of it as two families joining together.
- Let the bride walk down the aisle with the groom. This is often done by older brides, but many young women also choose this option.
A ceremony does just as much to set the tone of the wedding day as anything else. If the bride and groom belong to the same church, synagogue, or temple and they want a traditional ceremony, choosing the ceremony site is simple. If, however, they want a more unique ceremony or if they do not belong to the same religious organization, then they may need to do a little hunting to find the perfect site.
There are four general ceremony styles for you both to choose
from. Each of the four styles has plenty of room for personal expression.- Switch places. Have the officiant stand with his or her back toward the guests while you both face the guests.
- Traditional: A traditional ceremony is performed in a church, synagogue, or temple by a religious leader. (A military ceremony is also considered traditional.)
- Contemporary: This ceremony is most often in a historical building, museum, garden, or along a shoreline. There generally still are seats, an aisle, and a religious officiant.
- Unique: These "extreme" ceremonies are held underwater, on mountaintops, in the air, or wherever your fantasy leads you. It takes a lot of courage to select this style, and you can expect more than the average number of regrets. If it's your dream, though, go for it!
- Private: Reserved women fall in love and get married, too -- they just don't want to be on center stage. For these people, a private ceremony at city hall or a small religious site is perfect. They can then have a large party, with lots of mingling and no spotlights, at another time.
No matter how extravagant or simple the couple's dreams are for the ceremony site, it's important they keep track of all the details, including such things as the maximum number of guests, fee involved, and attire restrictions.
Ceremony Costs
There are several standard fees associated with the wedding ceremony. The following areas are all considered normal add-on fees and should be included in the budget. In the end, all of these additional fees add value to your ceremony.
- Officiant: This is the person who actually performs the ceremony, legally pronouncing you husband and wife. The officiant may be a religious leader at the church, synagogue, or temple where you will hold your ceremony; a religious leader invited to your ceremony site from another church, synagogue, or temple; or a judge or justice. Whoever the person is, there will be a fee (or donation) for the service. Be sure to provide a schedule to the officiant so he or she knows exactly what you have planned for the ceremony.
- Site fee: There are often additional fees beyond the building in which you hold the ceremony. These are generally for decorative items used to set up the site to your liking or items associated with religious traditions. Some of the add-on fees may include an aisle runner, candelabras and candles (if permitted), the altar or chuppah, knee cushions, canopy, and chairs (if necessary in addition to the pews).
- Special services: Certain services outside the jurisdiction of your officiant or site manager include cleanup services, parking services, setup services, or tear-down services. These normally have an additional fee.
Wedding Vows
There was a time when the wedding vows were more or less set in stone. Those days, however, are gone. And while that's good news for those who are looking for another way to express their love, it also means one more thing for the bride and groom to worry about. Here are your choices:
- Traditional vows: If you are having a religious ceremony with traditional vows, there is still room for input. Read through the customary vows to make sure you find nothing contradictory with your beliefs, such as things that you think are outdated or sexist. Consider inserting special readings or poems. Sometimes family and friends are invited to read scriptures or poetry.
- Self-written vows: Many brides and grooms write their own vows. A few suggestions are to acknowledge the guests and the importance of their presence; explain the qualities you most love about your future spouse or tell your hopes for the future.
The Receiving Line
the Ceremony
|
The receiving line is a special chance for guests to officially meet the bride's and groom's families, as well as an opportunity to personally congratulate the newlyweds. This line is usually formed directly after the ceremony, with guests offering their congratulations as they move on to the reception. It can also be formed so that guests arriving at the reception must first pass through the line. It's perfectly fine to keep conversation brief (yet still somewhat personal).
Transportation
Some might consider limousine service on your wedding day extravagant, but it is a surprisingly affordable luxury -- and an appropriate indulgence when you consider the miles of lace the bride will be wearing. Check out several transportation company candidates before settling on one -- many offer great deals if you both search hard enough.
A limousine can be used both before and/or after the ceremony. For example, the bride and her attendants could take a limo to the church. The couple (and possibly the best man and maid/matron of honor) could also be whisked away to the reception in a limousine. And remember there are several romantic alternatives to a limousine service. For example, the couple may be able to rent an antique car or hire a horse and carriage.
One trend is to find a way to keep the whole wedding party together in transit. This can include anything from renting a trolley (check the Yellow Pages for any local companies) to renting a mini-bus (available through many limousine services). This allows the entire wedding party to have a private post-ceremony celebration together.
Beyond hiring transportation for yourselves and the wedding party, you may want to consider paying for valet parking for your guests. If the ceremony and reception are at a fine hotel, they probably already offer this service -- which you can often secure at a reduced rate. If this service is not part of your ceremony or reception package, consider hiring parking attendants. This is a particularly thoughtful gesture if your ceremony is someplace where street parking is difficult.
You' both have walked down the aisle, exchanged vows, puckered up for the all-important kiss -- and now it's party time! In the next section we will help you both plan your wedding reception.
- Private clubs or hotels: If you select a private establishment, you may need to be a member or have a member's sponsorship.
- Private homes or gardens: Look for dramatic features, such as a grand staircase or an elaborate garden. If the garden is what attracts you, ask the home owner when the flowers are peaking and schedule your wedding accordingly.
- Cruise ships or boats.
- Mountains, parks, or beaches: There may even be an on-site city-owned facility that has rooms to rent for weddings. Try calling the local parks and recreation department.
- Wineries or orchards.
- Historical or public sites.
- Art galleries or museums.
- Resorts or bed-and-breakfast inns: These are especially well suited for weekend weddings.
The Guest List and Wedding Stationery
The guest list affects many of the wedding decisions the engaged couple will make, including the selections for wedding stationery. So, before any of the invitations, stationery, and so on can be purchased, you both have to set the guest list and determine the total number of guests. We'll walk you through the process. And remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.
The Guest List
Your guest list generally drives other decisions, so it's often smart to write the list sooner rather than later. Two of the earliest concerns dependent on final guest count are the total budget and the invitation requirements.
The guest count has a trickle-down effect on just about all matters related to the wedding. If your list is extremely long, you both may want to ask only a handful of close friends and family to the ceremony and invite everyone to the reception. The size of the guest list can also affect the mood and tone of the day, as well as the size of your wedding party.
There are three steps to making a guest list:
- Do first things first: Some couplels like to set a guest count first and then set the budget accordingly. This is appropriate if they know upfront that they'll have a generous budget. Other couples like to set the budget and then determine how many guests can be invited. This is appropriate if they think funds will be tight.
- Divide the list by five: Divvy up the guest list between five categories: the bride's list; the groom's list; the couple's list of common friends; the groom's parents' list; and the bride's parents' list. (Sometimes it's easiest to allocate all family guests to the respective parents.)
- Whittle: Now begin removing names until you both hit your mark.
When it comes to the guest list, you both are likely to have some sticky situations. Remember, this is your party; within reason, the guest list is the bride's and groom's decision. But if you both find yourself growing weary or confused, here are a few hints:
- If you both haven't seen or spoken to someone in over a year, he or she can probably come off the list.
- If you both need to make cuts, select an entire group, like all business associates or all book club members. If anyone complains, simply explain that you're planning a small wedding.
- If you both decide against having children at the ceremony, and the Smiths respond that they are coming with all four kids, handle it tactfully and directly. Call them up and say, "I'm sorry, but we simply can't accommodate children at the wedding."
- If there is an "ex" in the bride or groom's background (this could mean girlfriends, boyfriends, in-laws, or stepparents), ask yourselves if everyone in the extended bridal party would feel comfortable about this person being invited. If you or anyone else might feel uneasy with this guest present, then he or she should be dropped from the list.
The Stationery
You both will need quite an assortment of printed items for the wedding. Depending on which printeryou choose, the items included in the wedding stationery package will vary. (Be sure to look at all the package options before you make your stationery orderto ensure you get everything you want -- and nothing you don't need.)
The Wedding Invitation Package
You can usually spot a wedding invitation in the mail a mile away -- it has a "LOVE" stamp in the corner and is bursting at the seams. To figure out why the envelope is so jam-packed, read on to find out more about what typically goes in a wedding invitation package.
- The Ceremony Invitation and Envelope: The invitation announces the tone of the wedding and thus can take on any number of styles -- from traditional to unique. The wedding invitation itself traditionally comes from the bride's parents, but it can also come from the bride and groom. The tone or style of the invitation should reflect the tone or style of the ceremony and reception.
There are several different invitation styles, from traditional to contemporary. All are perfectly acceptable. You both will, however, need to set a style before hiring a printer, since different shops have different printing capabilities. There are lots of places to look for style inspiration. You could look at friends' invitations, for example. You should also visit at least two printers and look at their sample books so that you can get an idea of what's available. - The Reception Invitation: The reception invitation can have three formats: It can be included on the same invitation as the ceremony information; it can be a separate invitation/card altogether; or if a guest is only invited to the reception, it can be used in place of the ceremony invitation.
A combined invitation for both the reception and the ceremony is a great way to save money without sacrificing elegance. If the reception invitation is separate, however, the only thing to remember is that the card style should match that of the ceremony invitation. In other words, it should follow the traditional or contemporary style of the invitation. - The Response Card and Envelope: The response card addresses the reception only. It should have a line for the guest name(s), the number of people attending, and the menu choices (if needed). You both should also include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the guest to return the response card. The card should have a final response date -- generally two to four weeks before the wedding.
- Maps: It is increasingly common to include a map to the ceremony site and the reception site with the invitation. This could be a computer-generated map or one that you draw yourself. Just make sure that all of your lines and directions are clear before you give it to the printer. Also include a phone number for the destination. That way, the guest can call if he or she gets lost.
Other Printed Items
If you both know in advance the other printed items you would like at your wedding, ask the printer you've selected for your invitations to add in these items at a discount. This will not only save you money but will also ensure that each printed piece matches the style of the others.
- Pew cards: If you plan a large wedding ceremony and want to make sure certain guests have reserved seats, insert a pew card into the invitation. When guests present this card to an usher, they will be seated accordingly. The pew card includes the guest name(s), the ceremony location, and the pew number and its section (the bride's side or the groom's side).
- Place cards, matchbooks, napkins, etc.: You can include printed items -- such as napkins and matchbooks -- at the reception tables and scattered around the site, such as at the bar or the appetizer table. These printed pieces can include your names only; your names and wedding date; or the names, date, and a symbol, such as wedding bells. They are generally printed in a color that coordinates with your reception colors.
- Wedding programs: The wedding program names the bride and groom, the officiant, all members of the wedding party, and any readers and soloists. It also lists the ceremony events, including all songs, prayers, and scriptures to be read. Ushers distribute the programs as well as seat the guests. Either your officiant or your church, synagogue, or temple coordinator can supply previous wedding programs for samples. You could also check with friends and your printer to see other examples.
- Thank-You cards: Since you both will be writing many thank you cards during the coming months, it's nice to have appropriate thank you stationery printed fto use. These cards are small (generally folded and four inches by five inches) and are usually made of rich white or ivory paper. They have "Thank You," the bride's and groom's names, or their initials printed on the front. Be careful about how you print the names or initials, since the bride may need her maiden name on cards used before the ceremony and her married name on cards used after the ceremony.
- Wedding announcements: A formal wedding announcement is mailed the day after the wedding to family and friends who couldn't be invited to the event. An announcement can also go to local newspapers and magazines. A newspaper or magazine wedding announcement is worded much like the engagement announcement.
- At-Home cards: This card is sometimes included with the invitation or the wedding announcement. It tells whether the bride will be using her married or maiden last name and where the couple will live.
Show Proof of Proofing
Can you imagine anything more embarrassing than misspelling your future mother-in-law's name on the invitation? To avoid mistakes, enlist proofing help from at least three people -- preferably a mix of people from both sides. In addition, read each line in the invitation proof backward, from right to left. This forces you both to isolate each word. If you both question any name, circle it and phone someone to check the spelling. Use a dictionary to check other questionable words. As for dates, times, and sites, after you've double-checked this information, go back and check it all again. (And a third check wouldn't hurt, either!)
Addressing the Invitations
It may be tough to forgo the ease of computer-generated labels, but the invitations really should be hand-addressed. It is acceptable, however, to have your return address printed on the envelopes. If the invitation includes an inside envelope, repeat only the names of the guests (including any children under 16) on it. Persons 16 and older traditionally receive their own invitations. Single persons may have "and Guest" printed beside their name. Formal titles, such as Doctor or Reverend, should be spelled out.
Postage Prowess
Don't forget to include the postage costs in the invitation budget. And be certain to weigh the entire invitation to ensure correct postage. Ask your printer for a sample of your invitation, including every envelope (with the postage stamps), every enclosure, and every piece of tissue paper. These samples can be blank, since normal printing doesn't add weight. Take this sample to a post office and have it weighed.
Now that the guest list is set and the wedding stationery is ordered, the couple is ready to get into the nitty-gritty details of the ceremony and reception. On the next page, we will get started by learning more about choosing music for the ceremony and the reception as well as finding a florist.
- Shop around. Print costs can be negotiated somewhat. You may even find a printer who has beautiful paper in stock that comes with a price break.
- Select standard invitation sizes. Your printer can guide you toward an invitation that requires a reasonable amount of postage, as opposed to oversized invitations or mailing tubes, which carry higher mailing fees.
- Order extra invitations. In the end, it is always less expensive to absorb the cost of extra invitations than to print 30 invitations at the last minute.
- Forgo reception cards. It's perfectly acceptable to include the reception information on the ceremony invitation, thus reducing your printing and postage costs.
- Seek your printer's advice. He or she may suggest less expensive but equally elegant printing alternatives other than engraving. In addition, ask your printer to quote envelopes with and without the traditional lining.
Ceremony Music, Reception Music, and Flowers
The music and flowers play enormous parts in setting the mood for your wedding. Both of these speak to the day's romantic tone and serve to express the couple's style.
The average couple spends approximately 4 percent of their total budget on flowers and 5 percent on music. However, if you both choose to make the music and/or flowers a priority, you'll soon see how quickly your budget will climb.
Probably the most important thing to remember as you make final music and floral selections is that there are choices, including some very creative, very engaging, and possibly less expensive alternatives. We'll review some of them. And remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help you with each step.
Ceremony Music
If the ceremony will be in a religious building, be sure to ask if there are any music restrictions. Instrumental music generally begins 30 minutes before the ceremony, and a solo is often performed immediately after the bride's mother is seated. The processional begins with an instrumental -- or sometimes a soloist -- and has a slow, even beat that you can walk to. After the final attendant is down the aisle and in place, special music announces the bride.
Another option is to ask musicians for upcoming performance dates. As long as you both promise to stand quietly and respectfully in the hall outside a ceremony, you may be permitted to observe the musician in action. As soon as you both make your decision, get a written contract. Make sure it includes the obvious elements (such as date and prices) as well as the not-so-obvious ones (the musicians' attire, for example). |
The bride's music can vary -- anywhere from traditional or contemporary, an instrumental or a soloist. The most popular choices are Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" ("Here Comes the Bride") and Mendelssohn's "Wedding March." You may also want one or two songs played during the ceremony. Finally, there's the recessional, which generally has a slightly quicker tempo.
No matter what you both select for your song list, take the time to find music that means something to you both -- or at least music that you both enjoy. And keep a worksheet on each of your ceremony musicians that lists contact information and other important details.
Reception Music
Unlike ceremony musicians, who need to reflect the moment's solemn, heartfelt ambiance, reception music is all about entertainment. It should inspire dancing, joyful singing, and all-around merriment.
If the ceremony and reception are hosted in the same building, you may be able to hire one set of musicians for both events. More often, however, you'll need separate musicians for the ceremony and the reception.
Below are a few ways to stretch your reception music budget, and surprisingly enough, these ideas can often lead you both to more creative and open-minded musical talent.
- Hire a DJ rather than a band.
- Hire a small band. It's a bit more expensive than a DJ but less costly than a full band.
- Check out local universities or colleges for young talent. Remember, these students may be the same musicians to play at your baby sister's wedding years from now! Another bonus: Because they do not have a standard wedding repertoire, these musicians may be more open to learning special requests. (Be certain, though, to find someone reliable and trustworthy. The money you save isn't worth worrying about any last-minute problems.)
Once you select your reception musicians, create a music schedule to help them play key songs at certain times throughout the evening, such as the first dance and the bouquet toss.
The Flowers
You both will most likely be shocked and amazed at the sheer volume of flowers it takes to adorn a wedding. Even more amazing is the cost, especially since you're probably only used to buying small bouquets from a local florist or grocery store. But the right botanical display is a breathtaking addition to a wedding.
When interviewing florist candidates, find out how open they are to working within your budget. The best florist is one that can be creative and provide you with unique yet reasonably priced arrangements. Here are a few tried-and-true ways to extend the flower budget:
- Use in-season flowers. While your florist can generally get almost any flower you want, in-season selections tend to cost less.
- Use lots of greenery. For bouquets, you could instruct the florist to retain more stem leaves (requesting, of course, that only unblemished foliage can be used). Or, you could entwine a few perfect blossoms within ivy garlands.
- Limit the number of attendants. Remember, every person participating in your wedding requires either a bouquet, corsage, or boutonniere. Fewer bridal attendants means fewer costly floral arrangements.
- Consider tabletop alternatives. Alternatives like balloons mixed with only a few flowers, candles surrounded by ivy garlands, and heavenly scented herb arrangements can lower your floral costs. You might also want to consider renting bonsai or small topiary trees.
- Use the ceremony flowers at your reception as well. One caution: There may be a slight up-charge if you'd like the florist to transport and set up the ceremony flowers at the reception site. However, sometimes this cost is far lower than purchasing flowers for two separate locations. Of course, you also could ask a friend to be in charge of transporting the flowers and setting them up.
- Share the ceremony flower cost with another couple. Oftentimes, ceremony flowers are designed to decorate specific areas within the church, synagogue, or temple. This may make it impractical to move and reuse the flowers at the reception. In this case, you may want to try splitting the ceremony flower costs with another couple. Ask the contact person at your church, synagogue, or temple if there is another wedding the day before or after yours. If yes, call that couple, and see if they are open to this huge cost-cutting measure.
- Simplify. Sometimes less really is more -- especially if your wedding style is particularly elegant or sophisticated. For example, if the bride's gown is a simple sheath, select a bouquet of one dramatic, breathtaking flower surrounded by beautiful ribbon.
As with all of the vendors associated with the wedding, keep a contact sheet handy that includes all the key information about your florist. Use this sheet to record notes from each meeting you both have with him or her. Also create a detailed list of your flower order that sums up what needs to go where and get into whose hands or on whose lapel.
Since you've spent all this time picking the right music, musicians, and flowers, you want to make sure you properly document how beautiful it all turns out. In the next section, we will discuss how to select a photographer and videographer.
Also, very dark flowers (magenta, maroon, etc.) may appear unattractively black in photographs, and a monotone bouquet often appears to be one big blob. Ask your photographer about this before finalizing floral selections.