Getting engaged can be one of the most memorable and exciting moments in your life. For the first few weeks after the proposal, you both feel dizzy with happiness and are bursting with anticipation. As well you both should be! You've met the man or woman of your dreams, you've decided to get married, and now it's time to plan the wedding -- the official celebration of your love and commitment.
As you plan this wonderful day, you both will continue to feel great joy, but may also experience a few butterflies and a little confusion. After all, organizing a ceremony and reception is a big undertaking.
There will be questions about anything and everything: from the meal (fish, chicken, or beef?) to the wedding gown (low-cut, fitted, or empire-waisted?) to the reception music (live band, small orchestra, or DJ?). There will be issues about budgets, guest lists, and styles.
But in the end, just remember what this day is really about -- a celebration of love. Stay focused, and keep organized. This is where this article comes in handy. It's packed with helpful information and useful worksheets that you both can click on and print out to help you stay on top of your wedding planning. You'll find:
- checklists for keeping track of what needs to be done
- useful charts for organizing the many little wedding-related details
- worksheets for wading through vendor candidates and potential site possibilities
- hint boxes loaded with valuable tips and other information
Plus, this article features special Stress-Busters and Budget Extenders tips that help you both tackle the tough problems and really stretch the wedding dollars.
Designed to help the engaged couple plan an entire wedding, from announcing the engagement and buying the rings to cutting your cake and planning the honeymoon, this article will help you both create a truly memorable day -- without driving yourselves crazy in the process.
Every wedding is different so there might be worksheets that you both will have to reprint to have enough to cover all of your guests or all of your vendor candidates. Conversely, there might be some worksheets that you won't need at all or that you might have to tweak to fit your needs.
Budget, Timetable, Rings, and Announcement
The engagement period will probably be the most gloriously tranquil time of a couple's wedding process. You both soon will be faced with decisions, compromises, and debates -- some simple, some funny, some tough, but all important.
While it's important to bask in all the happiness, there are also a few tasks that should be handled pretty quickly. The couple need to set the budget and a timetable for planning the wedding, buy the rings, and announce the engagement. Below are helpful tips on making the many choices surrounding these aspects of the wedding. Remember, you can click on the links for worksheets to help with each step.
Building a Budget
Setting a budget for the ceremony and wedding reception is somewhat easy -- you have what you have and that's that. Sticking to the budget is where things get tough. For now, the engaged couple needs to sit down with both sets of parents to discuss how much money they have, how much money they need, and who will be footing the bill for what part of the wedding.
It's going to be difficult at times, but try to plan a wedding within your means. Before you begin, determine a priority list for the ceremony and the reception. Ask yourselves a silent question: Is what we are spending on this item really worth it to both of us? After all, needing five years to pay off the reception is not the way to go, especially since most newlyweds have a long list of wanna-haves, such as a first home and/or new furniture.
Setting the Date
Sit down together to determine a wedding date priority list. You both may want to include your families in this conversation, especially if they live out of town. Here are several important things to consider when choosing a date:
- The honeymoon: Consider the type of honeymoon you both want. For instance, if you are both sun-worshipers, don't plan a wedding date when your favorite island is experiencing monsoon season.
- Work schedules: You both may have work periods when you can't take time off. Select a date when your lives are least demanding.
- Holidays and family occasions: Some couples go out of their way to schedule a wedding over a three-day weekend, so everyone has more time together. This idea works best if you send invitations at least eight weeks in advance; otherwise, people might already have plans.
- The bride's menstrual cycle: The bride wants to look and feel her best on her wedding day. If she suffers unpredictable cycles, a quick chat with her gynecologist may bring up solutions.
- Day of the week: Saturdays are generally the preferred wedding day. That way, out-of-town guests can easily stay overnight. Weekday dates result in many regrets.
- Alternate dates: If possible, have a first-choice date and at least one backup date.
Once the couple decides on a date, the real fun can begin! Work backward from the chosen date to determine a timetable of what needs to be done when. Some tasks, such as mailing invitations and picking up the rings, obviously can't be checked off until two months before the Big Day. On the other hand, you both want to take care of other items -- booking a florist and reception site, for example -- at least a year in advance.
How to Choose a Ring
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In decades past, the man got down on one knee, ring in hand, and proposed. Today, many couples jointly decide to become husband and wife. Likewise, they choose the rings together. It pays to know a few things first:
- Find a jeweler you can trust. Use recommendations or family connections to find a jeweler you know to be honest and fair.
- Select a style. There are many rings out there, with styles from heirloom to contemporary. Choose a style that reflects your personal tastes.
- Set a price range. Have some sense of what you can afford before you even visit any jewelers. Most experts agree that the ring budget should total no more than
the bride and groom's combined salaries for two months. - Know your diamond basics. There are four
categories by which a jeweler assesses the worth of a diamond: cut, clarity, color, and carat (see "Knowing the Four C's").
Be sure to keep a good recordof where the rings were purchased, how much they cost, the four C's of the diamond, etc. This will come in handy for insurance purposes and if you find something wrong with the rings after bringing them home.
Also, you both just spent potentially thousands of dollars with a jeweler, so take advantage of your new status as a valued customer and consider using the same jeweler to purchase the bride's attendants' gifts. Don't be timid about asking for a quantity price break.
Announcing the Engagement
One of the most wonderful duties the couple has during this period is announcing the engagement to the world. And while you both may have an urge to shout the news from a rooftop, there are a few more traditional ways to announce the engagement.
First, you'll need to call the "A" list -- friends and family who need to hear the news straight from the bride or groom. Take a moment to jot down the names and numbers; be certain you both don't forget anyone in your immediate circle. Schedule a few chunks of free time to make the calls. You both are going to have a lot to talk about!
Traditionally, the groom's mother contacts the bride's mother for congratulations and a get-acquainted chat. It's a nice gesture to write down the bride's mother's home phone number and mail it or personally give it to her future mother-in-law. If the two women have not yet officially met, the bride might want to add a few words of encouragement like, "My mom can't wait to hear from you. She already has lots of things to discuss!"
Newspaper and Magazine Announcements
Newly engaged couples often send an official announcement to their local newspaper and/or city magazine. They need to contact the publications to find out the submission deadlines, run dates, and photo requirements (you may want to keep an engagement photo log with key information). Be sure to keep track of the newspapers and magazines contacted so you both can buy up plenty of copies when the announcement is published.
A proper announcement includes:
- Bride's full name
- Groom's full name
- Bride's mother's name
- Groom's mother's name
- Bride's father's name
- Groom's father's name
- Bride's parents' hometown and state
- Groom's parents' hometown and state
- Wedding site city, state
- Season, month, and/or date of wedding
It is not recommended that the couple include addresses, since they will receive many wonderful gifts during the next few months and don't want to tip off burglars.
Engagement parties often occur soon after making the official announcement. Presents are not generally given; if, however, someone does bring a gift, be sure to promptly send a thank you card. It's an easy gesture to forget, since about now both of your minds are focused on wedding plans, and you probably do not yet have official thank you cards printed.
Did you both get through the budget, timetable, rings, and announcement without a hitch? Good for you! If not, take a deep breath. It will all work out, and there's a lot more to do! Let's move on to find out more about making the guest list and selecting invitations in the next section.
- Pick your favorite exercise, and stick with it. Whether it's yoga, kick-boxing, or spinning, give this activity a few hours each week.
- If you both have something that calms your nerves -- be it reading, painting, or collecting rocks along the shore -- don't always put wedding plans ahead of this activity. You'll stay calmer, make sounder decisions, and enjoy the entire planning process more if you stay relaxed.
- Learn to ask for help. Delegating makes everyone feel better: It makes both or your Moms feel as if she has a vital role, and it puts less on your to-do list.
- Don't forget one of the most important reasons you are getting married to each other -- because you love spending time together. Once a week go on a date, and ban any talk about the Big Day.
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